When will it get easier?

Just closed my quarter. 106% of my commit. Not as good as some quarters we've had but still in excess of a very aggressive sales ramp.

I just wonder when it's going to get easier. Life used to be so easy when all I had to do was talk about things. Strategy, you know. It's easy. You talk about what people should do, and if it doesn't work, well, someone else must have screwed up the execution!

When you own the operations, however, there's no excuse for failure. It stinks. :-)

I've never worked harder or worried more than I have at Alfresco. In consequence, I've never learned more or enjoyed myself as much. This has been the best job I've ever had. No question.

Still, I wouldn't mind if it became markedly easier. When I say "open-source software sells itself," take that with a huge mountain of salt. Anytime you're dealing with people-generated sales rather than automated sales, it's going to be a slog.

And all I got was this lousy shirt

I'm in Edmonton, Canada, tonight, speaking at an Alfresco partner event tomorrow. I didn't know what to expect from Edmonton but so far it has been great. I jogged six or seven miles along the river so that I could then indulge in what turned out to be an excellent meal at the Hardware Grill (pricey but very good).

But now I'm sitting in my hotel room, watching videos from the All Things Digital Conference and wondering why I'm not instead at the Google I/O event. Jen is there and just sent me this picture from the Flight of the Conchords concert there.

I will admit that my love for Jen just took a nosedive. Or maybe that's my envy taking a sharp spike upwards. :-)

Next year, I'm not missing the evening entertainment at Google I/O for anything. Except customers, of course. Or maybe I'll just have them join me there.

Death Cab for the Asays

Perhaps it's because I got to see Rick Springfield with a friend back in sixth grade. Perhaps it's because there's a small part of me that still persists in believing I'll be cool some day.

Whatever the reason, I (along with Jen) took Scout and Isaac (and Scout's friend, Hana) to see Death Cab for Cutie last night at Thanksgiving Point in Utah. It had been dumping rain all day long, which didn't make the prospect of an outdoor concert seem like much fun, but by the time we got there the weather had cleared making for a beautiful (if still freezing) evening.

And a fun one. No, I didn't dance. I can remember the days of Metallica and Morrissey concerts when I did dance (or did something that approximated dancing), but I'm now old enough to recognize when I look foolish, and to care far more than I should. I think I'd be a bit more relaxed at a Radiohead concert, but I'll have to test that theory later this year.

In the meantime, I'm pretty much the safest concert chaperone possible: I don't drink, don't dance, don't do much of anything except tap my feet. Slightly.

As Jen says, I like the idea of a concert, but not the reality very much. As soon as I arrived I started planning our exit so that we could avoid traffic, and then ensured I turned on my best grimace to anyone smoking within 100 yards of me. I'm my dad's son, alright.

I'm only 35, and I'm already boring. Who knew it would come so early?

Days like today

Make me grateful. I just got back from visiting a family that lives nearby. I was asked by my church to spend time with them and help them out. I'm a pretty self-centered person by nature, so this sort of thing is great for me. I'd otherwise sit inside all day working (or watching Arsenal).

I had a great visit with them and felt like I had done real good. Not often I get to say that. I love my work but at the end of the day it's mostly "just work" without any lasting impact on anyone other than the families fed through the paychecks my company issues, including for my own family.

Yesterday, at Jen's suggestion, we went out to visit my sister, Brittany, for her birthday. She lives so far away that I'd normally take a plane to get there. (OK, it's only 100 miles, but that feels far....) It's remote enough that she had cows in her backyard and had we stayed late enough, we could have seen stars.

Remember them? Stars? Well did Emerson write in "Nature":

If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore; and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! But every night come out these envoys of beauty, and light the universe with their admonishing smile.

It was nice to get away from cities and spend time with cows, sisters, and a beautifully green part of Utah that I'd never seen. It was so green, it felt like Switzerland. As for Brittany, she's one of the funnest, quirkiest people I know.

Earlier in the day I went mountain biking with Matt Harrison, a former developer for SpikeSource and a friend from Stanford. We rode the Bobsled, an awesome trail above Salt Lake City that has been seriously tricked out by someone, not sure who.

Then last night we went over to our friends' house across the street to watch an Anne Bronte dramatization and eat the rhubarb cobbler that Bretta made. Time well spent (and food well-eaten :-).

Life is good. Sorry to ramble, but I'm just feeling lucky this morning. I'm glad that I'm occasionally lucky enough to experience life outside of work. Software is good, but family/friends/great literature/mountain biking/etc. are even better. Now if I could just convince myself to spend more time on these things and a little less on work....

All work and no play makes a person...

...boring. I couldn't help but feel some disgust and sympathy for the Ivy League undergraduates recently profiled in Businessweek. The kids have started special clubs at Stanford, Harvard, Yale, etc. so as to make their already frantic scramble to "the top" even more frantic.

Throughout the article they take themselves very seriously, talking up their ability to due diligence in different languages (as if people in the real business world can't) and saying self-important things like:

It's extremely competitive and cutthroat out there, so you have to take initiative.

What rot.

I remember the same crowd foraging for differentiation at Stanford Law School when I was there. They were fighting over Law Review and for professorial attention, desperately trying to stand out. Ironically, the more they competed with each other in the classroom, the less interesting they became outside of it.

Where are they now? Most are at law firms and leaving at the soonest opportunity. Others are still living the dream, clawing away at each other to "make partner" or finagle their way into the Supreme Court.

I only know one of my former classmates that really loves his job. I assume these undergraduates will at some point wake up and wonder when their lives were due to begin.

Compare that to my friend, Skyler. He was a good student but didn't make a fetish of it. Most days saw him out on his porch swing, (re)reading Sports Illustrated while watching his kids. He and his family now live in a small-but-growing community in southern Utah, where he has a thriving real estate development business and seems to thoroughly enjoy his life, just as he always has. I suspect most of my law school friends would gladly trade lives with Skyler. They easily can. They just have to shift their priorities a bit.

I say this as a very competitive person who spends most of my life working. But at least I recognize that I do so because I'm a loser, not because I need to get ahead. The people I admire most are those that I see playing with their kids, with jobs that may never make them rich but which leave them plenty of time to be home.

Perhaps these Businessweek hyper-competitive kids will cancel each other out. Perhaps they'll be too busy to raise families, ensuring their gene pool will die out. Funny, that: If Darwin was even remotely right, perhaps it's those slothful, doting parents who will inherit the earth, rather than the "strong." I sure hope so. They're much nicer to be around.

Now I just need to become more like them.

Entrepreneurs are old fogeys

New research from the Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation suggests that the myth of the 20-something entrepreneur is just that: A myth.

It turns out that the average and median age of US-born technology founders is 39. Twice as many are older than 50 as are younger than 25.

The old fogeys shall inherit the (startup) earth.

I'm 35. I've always wanted to start my own company. That's my goal post-Alfresco, unless someone offers a CEO slot of a very early stage company. I figure I have four years until I hit my peak. I can't wait. :-)

Since Arsenal couldn't win...

...I'm glad Manchester United won. Yes, ManU could only manage to win the league by a few points while spending hundreds of millions of dollars more than Arsenal, and yes they got lucky that Ronaldo never got injured, but they're still worlds better than Chelsea. Chelsea is a billionaire's toy: No class, no cohesion, just brute strength. Chelsea is boring to watch, even at their best, because they never look like more than a random assortment of talented players going one on one with the opposing team.

ManU at least plays with style and class. I would have preferred that they did it with real money rather than American-style debt, but what can you do?

The only thing that would have made the match better (It was a pretty drab game until the final seconds) would have been to see Ashley Cole miss his penalty kick. I haven't forgiven him for the way he left Arsenal.

And so Chelsea ends the season with exactly as much as Arsenal did: Nothing. Tant pis.

When I die, I hope to meet...

...Just got back from my daughter's "Great Americans" program, where one of my favorite people of all time was featured: Mark Twain (aka Samuel Clemens). When I die I hope to get the chance to spend a few millennia talking with Clemens: I think he's one of the funniest people to have ever walked this earth.

I also hope to meet Charles Dickens, who is the only other author that routinely has me laughing out loud. Dickens had the ability to mock the foibles of his characters while simultaneously reminding us of their greatness. Both Clemens and Dickens would eternity flow by far too fast.

While I'm at it, I'd also enjoy hanging out with Anthony Trollope, author of the Palliser novels, among my favorite books. And what about Dostoevsky when things needed to sober up?

For a man that could be both fun and serious, Joseph Smith would be cool to hang out with, as would William Tyndale and Martin Luther.

On the topic of reformers, I've long wanted to meet Malcolm X and Alexander Hamilton, basically the founder of the US economy.

Is there anyone currently living with whom I'd like to spend time (meaning, famous people)? Tom Friedman, who I know through email but have never had the chance to meet, as well as Clayton Christensen, whom I've met but never talked to for any length of time. Larry Lessig I already know but never see anymore. Tony Blair...? Sure. I think it took a lot of courage to stand behind the US even when we were bumbling around.

As for my favorite footballers - Fabregas, Eduardo, Giggs, Messi, and others - I'm not sure they'd be all that interesting on a personal level. I wouldn't mind them coaching my kids' teams, though. :-)

What's your mama worth?

At least $117,000 per year, if she's a stay-at-mom, according to a new study.

The eighth annual survey calculated a mom's market value by studying pay levels for 10 job titles with duties that a typical mom performs, ranging from housekeeper and day care centre teacher to van driver, psychologist and chief executive officer....

One stay-at-home mom said the six-figure salary sounds a little low.

"I think a lot of people think we sit and home and have a lot of fun and don't do a lot of work," said Samantha Russell, a Fremont, N.H., mother who left her job as pastry chef to raise two boys, ages two and four. "But they should try cleaning their house with little kids running around and messing it up right after them."

I've done it. I do it. I work from home and can state with absolute authority that the work my wife, Jen, does is roughly three trillion times harder than what I do, and much more important. My job is easy. Her job is hard.

A job doesn't define someone's importance. I know plenty of "important" tech executives that are complete bozos in their personal lives and, guess what? A bozo is a bozo, no matter how cool their job title. Try being a dad or mom and then tell me which is both harder and more important. Or, rather, I'll ask your kids.

Making your "money" as a parent

This morning I was jolted awake by my youngest daughter's cries, "Daddy! Daddy!" I ran downstairs to find her throwing up (again - happened the night before, too). I spent the next half-hour cleaning her and her bed up.

It was great.

Seriously, it was great. These are the times that you really "make your money" as a parent. Parents do the sort of work that no one else would do and, oddly enough, we don't even get paid for it. We take care of messy diapers, sanitize sickness, etc. All without a dime in return.

In fact, quite the opposite: We may through the nose for this privilege, both in terms of expenses and in terms of opportunity cost.

And yet I wouldn't give up my four children for anything. Being one of the two people that cry for when things go wrong is absolutely worth every expense, and the opportunity cost of not having them...? I can't imagine anything else could be worth it.

Once I'm up, I'm up, so today is going to be another strained day with too little sleep and too many soccer and baseball games. But it's worth it. It's all worth it.

Overheard in the Asay home this week

Lily (Nearly three years old), praying Wednesday night before I left for the airport:

Bless Daddy that he'll be safe on the plane. And bless him to not say any naughty words.

I really don't know where she got that last one....

Jen (My wife), as I moved my car off our driveway so that she could get out:

Thanks, Matt. Sorry I growled at you.

Yes, we clearly have problems.